When I was in high school, I remember telling a friend “If I ever get over 200 pounds, just kill me.”
You see, I was one of those skinny kids. “Skinny jeans” did not exist (thank goodness) but we did have Slim. I could eat a half gallon of ice cream and still stay at around 160 lbs no matter what I did. So I thought.
I need to make a confession, which will serve as the foundation of this post. Despite doing YouTube videos as a hobby, I don’t look in mirrors. I don’t gaze to the side at windows while I am walking down a storefront street. I do everything I can to avert my gaze from catching even a glimpse of what I know I have become – obese. Fat. Huge.
I post on Facebook all the good things. I’ve been told how much people enjoy my posts, that I must be having a “great time” doing what I do. When in fact, every day is a challenge be only a tiny bit happy.
I eat to satisfy my appetite, and drink to forget what I just ate.
Instead, I’m more likely to get home from a long day, order a pizza and down a full bottle of wine. I eat to satisfy my appetite, and drink to forget what I just ate. But in the morning, it is still there. This big, hunkering, mass of flesh and fat that can’t be denied.
I’ve tried diets and nutrition plans over the years, including one by the doctor who got Chris Pratt and the Kardashians into shape. After $2,000, his advice boiled down to chicken, water, veggies and supplements. While that worked for a little bit, as I am writing this, I am my heaviest ever.
You see, in my mind’s eye, I am still 18 and 160. While I can handle getting older, I am ashamed at both my physical weight, and what carrying it does to my mental health as well. So many things would be better without the weight. Look better, feel better, stand taller, and – look at a mirror.
As I approach another birthday, it is more than clear if I don’t tackle this now, I could be miserable for a long time. It is bound to affect my future health. So, I have create a page on this site simply called “fit.” You can find it in the menu above. On it, I will simply be detailing the basics of trying to be healthier. This is not a “diet” – it goes beyond that. My goals:
- Calories under 1500/day. This is slightly below the recommended, and I’m not interested in people saying it is too much. It’s my goal.
- Count over 10,000 steps/day. This should be easy if I just carve out the time. I’ve gotten lazy over the past couple of months
- 4 liters of water a day. Water helps in so many ways, both to flush the body and also to help you feel full so you don’t buy that package of Doritos.
The hard part is – this isn’t a quick fix. Getting under 200 again isn’t going to happen tomorrow, a week, a month or maybe 6 months. I am not good at slow and steady progress. By detailing it here daily, hopefully it keeps my eye on the prize:
Feeling good about myself, being more healthy, and who knows, maybe actually liking what I see in the mirror or those windows.